Its Only the Beginning...

   I love being back in the routine of camp! There is something about being constantly busy and having something to do that just feels good. Although, this week was more than I bargained for. When I left camp yesterday and drove back to Greenville, I thought over my week and all I could see were the negatives of my week. I struggled with that, because that's not my normal personality. I always see the bright side of things and still somehow find the good in the situation and run with it. But after several nights of little sleep, only a handful of good full meals, my attitude was greatly off base. I drove to the hospital where my mom was recovering from knee surgery from earlier in the week. I had called them Thursday night and literally cried through the whole conversation. I doubt they fully understood everything I said, but they understood I was tired, a little discouraged, ready to come home and sleep, and knew I just needed someone to listen, though I didn't feel like talking about any of it. ...(I'm such a girl)... When I arrived at the hospital I went straight to my mom who wrapped me in the biggest hug she could muster. Oh how it felt so good. I sat there with my parents for three hours telling them EVERYTHING. (As I write this I realize how much I forgot to tell them... I'm sure they are so anxious to get home so I can finish telling them everything! HA!) But they sat there and listened and just loved on me. When I got up to leave I felt so much better and suddenly I remembered all the good that happened this week. Its amazing what happens when you have two amazing supporting parents who love you so unconditionally and see only the best in you, who encourage you, and remind you that it won't last forever. I adore my parents. I have been so blessed with the best.
   So as I continue telling you about my week, let me preface by saying, if anything sounds negative, please understand my heart, I adore my job and I cannot wait to return to it on Monday. It was a long hard week from my perspective but yet so much good has happened so bear with me and follow me from the negative to the positive.
   Monday morning came and everyone was so pumped. I was so excited to get my week started and to share my amazing friends (the campers) with my amazing family (the staff). I knew we'd all hit it off well! I'm thankful to say that the day and night went so well. As the night was winding down I saw one of our campers was getting pretty agitated and realized her anxiety was kicking in. The camper was trying to walk away from all the action and didn't want anything to do with our dance party. I ran over and talked to the girl and her counselor and tried to offer some comfort. We eventually got her to calm down, but she was more than ready for bed time when it finally rolled around. Little did I know, that was only the beginning.
   Tuesday came with lightning fast speed. We were up and moving with so much energy! I loved watching our staff fall in love with our campers. Such sweetness oozed from everywhere! My day was filled with jumping from activity to activity, taking pictures, and just enjoying my campers. At nap time, Eddie and I met in the office to begin our office part of our job. Planning for the next week, cabin assignments, and smoothing out the details of the current week. Eddie and I looked at each other frequently this week and said "I forgot how much work we do!" it was funny to feel like we made progress in our work only to remember we had to do something else before we were done. haha. But I must say, neither one of us would trade our jobs for anything in the world. We both adore our jobs. The longer we sat there working, the less focused we both became and neither of us were making very good head-way with our cabin assignments. Just when I thought I had regained my focus and was doing well, I saw one of my girls (counselor) running toward the office. When she reached the door, it flew open long enough for her to say that one of our campers was having a seizure. I grabbed my radio and took off running for her cabin. As I sprinted toward her cabin I radioed for our awesome EMT, Shawn, to meet me there. When I arrived the seizure was over and the camper was sleeping hard. (Normal after a grand mal seizure.) Shawn checked her vitals and everything checked out fine. I praised me counselors for their level headed thinking and reminded them of the procedure for the next couple of hours. Little did I know it was only the beginning of my long distance sprinting of the week.
   I walked back to the office to sit down and continue working, when not long after, two guests walked into the office asking for a tour. Eddie and I looked at each other and knew our work for the afternoon was over. There was no way we would finish. So we gave the tour and thanked them for coming and closed up the our work in the office and headed to afternoon canteen. We enjoyed the rest of the afternoon with our campers and at dinner we headed to the dinning hall. During dinner I paid close attention to the young lady that had struggled with her anxiety the night before. She was struggling again and I along with her counselor tried to work her through her anxiety. It was eventually decided that I would call her mom to ask for any helpful hints on how to help her. The camper was able to speak to her mother briefly and it seemed to help some. The rest of the night she seemed to calm down and have a better time. Little did I realize it was still only the beginning of phone calls to home.
   After dinner we headed up to play canteen bingo and then up to our camp fire time in the woods. As we sat around the camp fire I looked around at our campers and counselors and my heart swelled with pride. I loved being with them. As I sat with Eddie and one of our Administrators we talked and laughed and sang enjoying our time with each other. I looked up at one point to see the same counselor that came running for me in the office that afternoon, come running through the woods. My attention snapped into emergency mode knowing intuitively that something was wrong. As soon as she had my eyes she motioned for me to come and I heard something about a seizure.I knew exactly whom she was talking about and I didn't wait for another second. I took off sprinting after her out of the woods and down the camp property. Halfway to the cabin I could hear several sets of feet behind me. I dared not turn around for fear I would lose my pace and slow down (I was already having trouble running that far that fast as it was) When I reached the courtyard out side the cabin I allowed myself to slow down knowing if I didn't start calming my heart rate down before I entered the cabin it was likely I wouldn't think straight. I went straight for the campers bed and found yet again she was sleeping hard. I turned to find our EMT, right behind me, the lead counselor of the cabin behind him and two of our camp administrators. When we determined everything was fine, we talked about what the plan needed to be. It is very unusual for this camper to have two seizures in one day and especially at camp. We called her home and they decided to come pick her up so they could make sure she was OK. So we gathered her things and when she came to, we took her to the office to wait on her home to come. As we waited, Eddie joined me in the office and we attempted to finish the cabin assignments we didn't finish earlier that day. Little did I know it was only the beginning of many interruptions. I soon had another female camper come to the med tech room complaining about a bad headache and saying it was going to turn into a migraine soon. We watched her closely for a few minutes and I went back and forth between talking to her and keeping an eye on my sweet lady who was waiting to go home. She was so disappointed about going home. I felt disappointed for her too. A few minutes later another camper came to the office complaining that his arm wouldn't quit shaking. I ran and got Eddie who had just left and was so thankful he took over this situation. By now the home finally arrived to pick up my sweet lady to take her home. I helped them load her up and kissed her goodbye.
   I walked back into the med room to check on my other camper and spoke with Shawn about her symptoms. We both agreed that though she might have a headache there were some inconsistencies that she might not be feeling as bad as she said she did. We were both ready to send her back to her cabin to sleep when we were told that she would be sleeping in the med tech room for the night and I would join her. So i grabbed my stuff and joined her in the med room to sleep. We fell asleep around midnight and I woke up every hour on the hour out of instinct to check on her. It felt like such a long night. In the morning Shawn came in to check on her and she said she felt a little better and I walked her back to her cabin. I ran to my apartment to change and get ready for the day. Praying that there would be less action that day than there had been the day before... it was only Wednesday and it felt like it should have been Friday.
   After breakfast we found that my camper who had been struggling with anxiety all week was no longer doing as well as she had been the night before. All the tricks we tried to use were no longer working. By now she was crying nonstop and every so often was trying to make herself throw up. She spent the morning the in the med tech room as we tried to help her calm down. We called her mom who tried to help console her, but not even that was working any more. We spent most of the morning in the med tech room until we thought we had her calm and tried to get her out and about again. It didn't last long. After a couple more phone calls, it was determined that she was going home. It wasn't fair to make her this upset and force her to stay when she didn't want to.
   After lunch I ran to the office to do a few things and then decided to take a power nap before the evening activities. I kept my radio close praying that everything would be smooth and nothing would happen. I had gotten to the point where if I heard Shawn's name on the radio, I cringed knowing my name was probably next.... most of the time it was. I think our female campers liked having him around. We had to run to a lot of calls together this week... I managed to doze lightly for about an hour before I needed to be up for canteen.
   I walked up the hill and hung out with my campers and my counselors. Things seemed to smooth out and I began thinking everything was going to be smooth for the rest of the week until I heard "Shawn to Lauren..." come over my radio. So much for that thought! Shawn asked me to come to the med tech room to check on a camper. Little did I know it was only the beginning of a line of campers for the next hour. I tried to help determine what needed to be done as campers came in complaining of stomach aches, scraped knees, and wouldn't you know it, the same camper from the night before coming in complaining about another migraine. Shawn looked at me after she came in and laid down on one of the beds and admitted that he had promised to check on her before dinner and had forgotten. I teased him that it was his fault she was back... she only wanted to see him. He laughed as he pulled her information and called her mom for advice on what to do for her migraines. When we had the information, we flew into doing what her mom had said and adjusted some of her medication for the rest of the week. And wouldn't you know it, she was better in no time. (literally) By this time, everything seemed to be calming down. Eddie called me on the radio to see if I was available to come help with a game that we were playing camp wide. It was nice to get out of the med room for a while!! Eddie and I wrapped up a game that everyone had been playing called "Gold Rush" Cabins went around camp looking for gold and then traded the gold for money. That's where Eddie and I came in. Eddie auctioned off different prizes and I was the "lovely assistant". He wore a sombrero and became "Edwardo" and I became "Lorraina". We had a good time auctioning off all the secret prizes. We began wrapping up the evening and everyone was headed back to their cabins. As I walked to the cabins to check on my girls and help where I could, I reminded Shawn to be sure to check on our camper with the migraines before she showed up in the med room again and teased him that I preferred to sleep in my own apartment. We parted ways and a few min later I heard Shawn's name called over the radio. "Oh no" I thought. I waited for my name too, but only heard that he was headed to one of my girl cabins. I didn't wait this time I just took off running. This time it was one of my most favorite campers of all times. One who had not been back in 4 years. We were concerned with some swelling in her legs (she is wheelchair bound) and she seemed to zone out a few times and things just didn't seem normal. Shawn being the awesome EMT jumped on the situation right away and it was soon decided that she needed to head to the ER. Shawn did everything in his power to make everything as smooth as possible and even managed to get two of the best on his crew to come up to camp. As we waited on the ambulance to come I ran to grab somethings from my apartment knowing I would go with her. One of our program staff also flew into the action and got ready to follow in a camp car so that I would have a way to get back to camp. As I ran to my apartment I notified Eddie that I was leaving and a few minutes later he met me in the office. I cannot tell you the sicking feeling it is to know you have to rush a camper to the hospital. Especially when they are near and dear to your heart. The pain must have been obvious on my face because Eddie put an arm around my shoulders in comfort and offered to refill my water bottle before I left. We talked for a few minutes as I unnecessarily reminded him to listen out for my girls if they were to need me in the night and I wasn't back yet. I knew I didn't need to say it because we're so used to just doing it naturally when cases like this arise but it made me feel better knowing we had at least talked about it. Eddie returned the favor by explaining to me that under no circumstances was I to get up early the next morning after getting back from the ER. He had it under control and I needed to sleep in. I gave him one of my "I hear you..." looks and mumbled something about "yeah right". So he asked for me to hand over my Cabin Clean Up Score sheets to prove how serious he was. I knew he was right. I would need the sleep when I got back. But there was something about it that made me feel I was sending the message that I wasn't available to my girls should they need me. I don't like that thought. I knew in my heart I'd be up and going about the normal time anyway.
  I grabbed the papers I needed for the EMTs, and headed out the door. It wasn't long when the ambulance arrived. We climbed in and began taking off. Unfortunately we had to go all the way into Greenville since the local ER wouldn't see us. I rode the whole time talking to my sweet lady and loving on her. By nature she always says thank you for everything and says I'm sorry just as often. The whole way to the ER I told her over and over again that she had nothing to be sorry for and that I loved being able to take care of her. My sweet lady. We talked about camp some and at one point as I sat holding her hand I asked her, "What was your favorite thing this week?" she looked at me and smiled and said "Talking to you." It took everything in my power to hold back the tears. It wasn't the first time this week she made me cry. On Monday night I helped her counselors figure out how to get her into a bunk bed. After a few minutes of trying, crawling into the bunk with her, we finally figured it out. As I sat at the foot of her bed helping her get situated right, she kept our conversation rolling. She began telling me she loved me. To which I replied that I loved her so much. We went back and forth "battling" over who loved whom more when she said, "I love you to God and back." It took my breath away as I realized how much she wanted me to see. Her next phrase was, "I've seen Him you know. Twice." This woman whose disabilities were the result of a car accident was trying to get me to see her as a woman with disabilities. Not a disabled woman. There are times we forget our campers are more physically handicapped than they are mentally. I asked her what He looked like. She said "Oh He is so beautiful. He was smiling on me." As I crawled out of her bed that night tears streamed down my face. What a beautiful woman she was. I loved on her as I said goodnight to her and praised my God for allowing me to see Him through her. My mind flashed back to that memory as I watched her in that ambulance. We got to the hospital and got checked in. I praise my Father for allowing the whole situation to go smoother than butter. Her sister came not long after and when I felt everything was under control I left to head back to camp. Giving this amazing woman a huge hug and thanking her sister for allowing us to be apart of her life.
   We arrived back at camp around 2 am. I was exhausted. I climbed into bed around 2:30 and slept until my alarm went off at 6:30. I hit the snooze button for just a few more minutes when I had every intention of getting up on time. A minute later I opened my eyes to find that it was 7:30. Oops. I laid there for a few more minutes- not really falling back asleep but yet not exactly awake. I looked at the clock again and found it to be 8:30. This time I really did need to get up. Camp was in the middle of breakfast and it was really the best time to be up. I needed my girls to know I was up and available. I grabbed my K-cup of dark coffee and headed for the dinning hall. I walked in and was met with smiles from my friends and a look from one of my admins who told me to go back to bed. I smiled and said that I was awake and needed to be up. I got a doubtful look in return and turned to find Eddie to see how the night had gone and an update on what still needed to be done that morning. He explained everything was fine and had been during the night. He asked how I felt and if I was tired. I answered yes and he told me to go back to bed. I told him it was too late and I was up.  There was no point in going back to bed- besides I wanted my girls to know I was up and available. He smiled in understanding and let the matter drop. I grabbed my coffee and we flew into the days events. As I sat in the med room helping with morning meds, drinking my coffee and still trying to wake up fully, I received several laughs from my campers with their funny antics and knew I was thankful that I was up and thankful for a staff family that looked out for my needs too. I felt very loved and blessed.
   The day went smoothly and without a hitch. Eddie and I finished up our work in the office with lightning fast speed. Grabbed a snack from canteen and headed back to the office for final preparations on the big Talent Show event that night. I was so thankful for a low key day. Only one call over the radio for me and Shawn. Another migraine was coming on from the same camper as before- a fire we quickly put out and had fixed before it could get too bad. I looked at Shawn as we walked away and asked if he had checked on her that day. I was met with a guilty smile that said "oops." I laughed as we walked to the office.
   It was a long week. Hard even. I hated having to send my campers home, but yet knew I was doing what was best for them. I was ready to see my mom. I knew her surgery had gone well and everything was fine, but there was still something about seeing her that I needed.
   I made it through my week not in my strength but my Fathers. In my weak moments I found myself not pulling my strength from Him. But I was amazed how I was able to get through my day when I refocused my source of strength. I slept hard last night and slept until 9:30 this morning. Something that I haven't done in forever. It felt so good. Already I feel re-energized and ready for week two to come. I can't wait to get back to my life in Paradise!!!