Don't Blink. It Goes By Too Fast

   LOVE. This word seemed to be the theme of my week. Everywhere I turned from day to day it almost hit me anew as if I had never looked at things in the perspective of love. One of my greatest joys is watching our staff just let go and hang out with our campers. Monday afternoon when our pool party was canceled and our counselors had to suddenly improvise on activities, a group went off to the field to play football, another to the basketball goal, others to find things to do while hanging out in the cabin. I watched these groups of guys for a moment as I walked back to the office. Everyone of them about to crumble from sweat and pushing themselves very hard in their game. Suddenly I realized, in those moments, everyone was put on the same level and suddenly there were no disabilities just boys having fun. Counselors were letting go and listening to campers call the next play and making sure they did their best to play it to perfection. I realized then that our counselors had found a form of love. Everyone just let go and focused on having fun. My heart swelled with pride over these counselors and with more love than I knew what to do with. That night as a storm passed through and forced our evening activities into our dinning hall, I watched again with pride over our counselors embracing their campers. A good quarter of our campers were brand new this week and I was impressed at how quickly they clicked with their counselors and already had relationships going. I watched as a counselor had his first opportunity to deal with seizures as a camper crumbled 3 times that evening. Each time, leaving a mess to be cleaned and a wound to be mended. Not once did I see a grossed out look from his counselor just pure concern that turned into love as he learned how to better help this camper. As we left our dance party and gathered outside to sing our goodnight song, We noticed a rainbow that almost appeared to hug camp from one side to another-even more exciting was to see a faint double rainbow. Just another reminder of God's love toward us. I love seeing His little reminders at random times in my life. Rainbows are some of the best.
   Tuesday was pretty much the normal day for us. It was strange for Eddie and I to be in the office and not having to start cabin assignments for the next week. We took this time in the office to write thank you notes to each of our counselors. After nap time, we spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with our cabins. The evening was filled with skits and laughter from our Clown Show. Eddie and I prepared several new skits and seemed to be one of our better shows. As we said goodbye to the two clowns that come out every week to do their routines, Eddie and I noticed one of our Program Staff members walk by, something obviously wrong. I ran after him to see what was wrong to find out his grandfather had passed away and he needed to leave ASAP. Blake is our Talent Show organizer so he had a lot of things he had to get done by our Thursday night Talent Show. Without another thought, I immediately volunteered Eddie and I to get it done in his stead. I pulled Eddie aside later to tell him what I had done only to be met with total and full agreement on his part. It was just a way we could show our love toward him. Later that night as Eddie and I pulled a list  together of things we needed to get done, I realized our work load had just doubled. I had no clue how we were going to pull off building a set for talent show, organizing the show, as well as finishing things we had to get done besides talent show, but I was ready for a challenge. We worked till midnight on Tuesday just getting as much of a jump start as possible.
   Wednesday dawned earlier than I wanted, but I was ready for the day. We rolled up our sleeves and jumped in. We spent most of the morning hanging out with our cabins, but once lunch was over Eddie and I jumped into constructing a ship that would cover the full length of our stage. With the help of Sammie, our camper worker supervisor and another member of our program staff, we built a plank, cannon, mast, huge sail, a large helm and other little things in between. Wednesday afternoon we spent the afternoon painting the ship. My fingers are still slightly black from the paint. We stayed up late that night working on organizing each act and making sure we had music for everyone.
   Thursday we jumped in with helping out a few cabins at the challenge course and spending some much needed time with our campers. At times I think being a counselor at Camp Spearhead is therapeutic. Being with my campers can put me at such ease and most of the time, truly relaxed. It was some much needed time with my campers. That afternoon we put the finishing touches on the ship, and finalized the music and organization of the night. Right after dinner we started straight into our camper recognition program. A chance for counselors to present their campers with little awards to celebrate accomplishments made that week or just to appreciate a certain thing about that camper. Once the cabin has received all their awards the campers then have the opportunity to take the mic and say whatever they want. You never know what you'll get which is part of the fun, but last night was something special. Almost every person who spoke into the mic spoke something of love. Whether it was counselor to camper, a camper to a counselor, camper to camper, or camper to camp in general, it had something to do with love. I heard the phrases "Camp Spearhead, you are my second family." "I love camp and can't wait to come back next year. I'm gonna miss this." "This is my home." My heart continued to swell as each camper shared what they loved about camp. I am so proud of our counselors for showing such unconditional love as they have which impacted every camper in the room. It is because of this that camp runs every year. Campers come back because of the love that we show them. Love filled our dinning hall that night. The feeling was beyond words.
   I can't believe camp is over. Where did my summer go? I've had the best summer of my life this summer and have truly enjoyed my Paradise at camp. I would be lost without these people in my life. It hit me the other day just how boring life would be if there were no disabilities. I look at some of our campers and momentarily wonder what life would be like without their disabilities. Every time, I shudder at the thought. They wouldn't be the same camper I know. Life would be boring if they didn't have their disabilities. I have thanked God for disabilities more often ever since. He knows what He's doing as each person is created- disabilities or not. This population is my life and my joy. I would truly be lost without them. I wouldn't change them for the world. I LOVE them. They are my paradise.

Better Call AAA Now....

   I can't believe I am about to enter the last week of camp! This summer has truly flown. This past week was filled with last minute rushings trying to finish things out for the summer. Eddie and I were in the office more than usual doing our last cabin assignments of the summer, working on the week's slideshow plus trying to get ready for our staff dinner/party tonight.

   The campers were great this week. Though some were a little more high maintenance, I feel the week went really smoothly. We had no major bumps or mishaps! We were full to the brim with literally every bed filled in every cabin! 

   I loved having my Justin there this week! It was a joy to look around camp and see his smiling face. I knew the staff would love him and was even threatened by several coworkers that Justin would not be able to come home with me because they were going to kidnap him and keep him. If you know Justin at all, you know how true this statement is and you yourself has possibly thought the same thing. He had a great time and had awesome counselors. They took good care of my boy. Justin slept all day the day after he came home. He was worn out! On Tuesday his counselors took him to our Challenge Course where Justin climbed the Taco Net, zip-lined across to another platform, walked across a beam with his counselor, then across a cable back to the original platform. I wish I could have been there to see it. Justin was frightened a few times on the challenge course - which most of you would be too if you saw what you had to do. But my big brother was such a trooper! He listened to his counselor who talked him through everything and kept him calm. What an accomplishment for Justin! Nowhere else does he get the opportunity to do such amazing triumphs! The best part is, he did it! Just another reason my big brother is my number one hero. He may have many challenges in life, but he always comes out smiling and happy. He challenges me on a daily basis. Oh how I love that boy!! 

   On Wednesday, Eddie, me, and our office assistant Amanda decided we needed to get off camp and out of the office for a break. So during the campers' nap time we took off toward Flat Rock NC for lunch at a local bakery. As we walked toward the parking lot, it was decided that we were going to take Eddie's truck. So all three of us stuffed into the two-seater front seat and took off. Eddie warned us that we were going to have to stop for gas, but it shouldn't take long. So as we were traveling up Hwy 25, we pull off on an exit that said Gas Station. We pull up to the gas station and notice there is no convenience store and something just wasn't quite right. We pulled up to a pump only to find the gas station truly no longer existed. I looked over at Eddie's gas gauge to find that we were in the red zone. We needed gas right then. So we asked a few women who were standing at a chuck wagon that was on the property about where a gas station was. "Eight miles up the highway." was there response. The three of us looked at each other wide eyed- there was no way we had enough gas to get eight miles up the highway. Eight miles was also a lot further up than we needed to go. We took off praying we'd find a gas station somewhere between where we were and the bakery. By this time Amanda and I are dying laughing. This is the grandest adventure we've been on all summer. We started talking about the possibilities- running out of gas on the side of the road and needing someone to come find us and bring us gas. Eddie mentioned he had AAA but that wouldn't help much since it would probably take even longer for them to come to us. I laughed and told him we could call them right then and tell them to head toward us and we'd just keep them updated on our location. We continue laughing about it until we notice that we no longer had phone reception. At that point we all started laughing even harder. Well, Amanda and I were- Eddie didn't quite see the humor we did. I continued to watch the gas gauge and truly, we were about to run out of gas and we almost didn't make it. As we continued down the windy road toward the bakery, we finally see a gas station appear. We just prayed it wasn't shut down too. We pull in and it was up and running!! So Eddie filled the truck and we weren't but 100 yards away from the bakery itself. We had a great time on our adventure and I haven't laughed that hard in a while. We had a good time together getting off and relaxing a bit. 

   Tonight is our staff dinner. We have a Masquerade theme. We all have a mask and are getting dressed up for an evening of dancing under the stars. I'm looking forward to a great night of spending time with my camp family and being dressed up for once instead of the sweaty, hair in a messy bun, no make-up look. I will post pictures hopefully this weekend. 

    This week will be interesting. two of my "boyfriends" are returning- Mikey and Brian. I'm sure I'll have stories to tell this weekend. Its going to be an amazing week. I hate that summer is coming to an end, but I am so excited for what this week has in store! Until I post again, I will be enjoying my Summer In Paradise!!! 

Hospitals, Boyfriends, & Blessings

   What a whirlwind of a week!! I rarely allow myself the luxury of taking a nap on Friday afternoons because I like being able to sleep really well Friday night. This week though, I couldn't help it. First thing I did when I came in was pick up my cat and lay down on the couch. From what I can tell I was out within minutes. Next thing I know I hear my mom encouraging me to wake up and my cat no longer in my arms two hours later. "OOOPS" I thought, but it felt so good!!
   Monday night one of the girls on our OP Staff and I had to take one of our campers to the ER. We had been concerned with a couple things she had been complaining about that afternoon and decided to take her to the ER just to be on the safe side. Once we were there and everything was settled, I traveled back to camp to check on the rest of my campers. I missed our weekly dance party and arrived just in time for a snack and put out a few "drama" fires going on among some of the campers. Once I was sure everyone was in bed for the night and all was well I went back to the ER to be with my camper. Thankfully it wasn't too long and we were able to go back to camp. We arrived back at camp around 12:30 am and around 1 we were crawling into bed. We slept in our Med-Tech office since it was easier than trying to make her bed in the cabin and waking everyone up. We were up and down throughout the night, but was nice to catch a couple hours sleep before the next day. Around 7:30 the next morning one of her counselors came to relieve me and I ran to my cabin long enough to brush my teeth and head to breakfast. From there the day took off. Around 11 her home came to pick her up and take her home. I still had on my clothes from the day before- never getting a chance to change. After lunch my co-lead Eddie and I normally sit and work on the next week's cabin assignments, but Eddie kicked me out of the office to go take a nap and shower. (I don't think I was smelling very good at that point....hahaha) the nap and shower were wonderful and I felt somewhat refreshed.
   The day continued on in normal fashion with the exception of having a second pool party! The heat advisory was too high to do much else so to cool off we all jumped in the pool. It was a nice change. That night after acting goofy in some skits in our clown show, I followed one of our camper workers up to our activity building. She wanted some time to think about some stuff and I ended up being able to talk to her for a while about some things on her mind. We talked for a long time and missed our campfire and smores, but this was one camper I never felt I had "clicked" with, and by the end of the conversation, we covered ground and bonded like I never expected us too. Totally worth missing time around the camp fire.
    Wednesday ended up being a pretty normal day for me. I was able to spend it with my girls. That night I was hanging out with one of my cabins waiting on an Ice Cream Social that they had won as a Bingo prize earlier in the week. During this time, one of the campers became slightly aggressive. We were aware that this is who she is and it only comes out sometimes. We haven't seen her act this way in several years. She hit a couple counselors and tried to bite me. We thought we had her calmed down and put to bed, but it wasn't long before they came searching for me because she was acting up again. By the time I got back she hit all her counselors and bit one on the hand. Unfortunately this caused us to have to send her home. We could not risk her hurting a camper. I hated having to do it, because I have a love for this camper. But I know it was the right thing to do.
   Thursday rang bright and early. I wasn't quite ready to get up when my alarm went off. A male camper ended up getting sick in the night and it was Eddie's turn to sleep in the Med Tech Office with him. Poor Eddie only got a few hours sleep and looked as dead as I had been on Tuesday. So it was my turn to kick him out of the office that afternoon to sleep some. In the afternoon we were running on steam and asked each other if everything had really happened that week. Looking back at this point we both feel Monday was a long time ago. Talent Show was the perfect way to end the week. We had a Broadway Theme and added an intermission where Eddie and I dressed up with goofy glasses and sparkling top hats to hand out pop corn. My favorite act of all had to be one of our female cabins having a Beauty Pageant. It was the most precious act I've seen all summer. Each girl getting a chance to come center stage and do whatever they wanted. Some only walked up and waved, others danced or sang. It was beautiful and so precious. Love having counselors who come up with such creative ways to showcase our campers!!
   It was an interesting week in a completely different way than the rest of the weeks. Some times we get campers and they have an infatuation with a counselor. They have huge crushes or even think they are dating the person. We as a staff try not to encourage it, because in the long run it hurts the camper but even in some cases, no matter how hard you pull away, you cannot convince them of what they do not want to believe. This was the case for me this week. Only I had about 5 campers come that have "crushes" on me. How this happened I don't know. Dickson has been one of my favorite campers since I met him four years ago. Back then he told me we were going to get married but when I told him I couldn't marry him cause I couldn't leave camp, he got mad and didn't want to speak to me again. He has since forgotten this scenario. He was back this week and he still waffles back and forth on who his girlfriend really is. Some times its me, sometimes its my friend and co-worker, Logan. Just kinda depends on his mood at the time. Another one of my "boyfriends" was Mikey. Now Mikey is one of those campers that for the longest time, he had a girlfriend one minute  and literally the next minute he was dumping her for another girl. This is how we knew Mikey. When Mikey came week 2, he started on his normal switching back and forth thing and then Monday night I realized he wasn't dumping me. He kept sticking with me. The next day I tested the waters by telling him that one of my coworkers was my boyfriend. I thought he had gone back to his normal self by finding a new girl friend, only to be told later by his counselor that he was heartbroken and cried during his cabin's activity. I soon found Mikey and made amends, and figured when he came back later in the summer, he'd go back to normal. Well I was wrong. When he arrived this week I was still his girlfriend. And his mother even told me that he came home talking about me. Something he had never done in the past with any girl. He never could remember the name of his girlfriend until earlier this summer. Then there was Brian. Brian is an interesting guy. loves swings and singing. He has a thing for the female lead counselor. Last summer when I was a cabin counselor, he wouldn't give me the time of day and was completely in love with our lead counselor Katie. This year I hoped that it wasn't the lead counselor he had a thing for, but I was wrong. He missed Katie at first, but it wasn't too long before I became his new girlfriend. Though I kept my distance and never encouraged him, it never worked. He also came earlier in the summer, but nothing kept him from liking me. Rick, one of our camper workers pulled me aside last week and asked if we could go out. I managed to skirt around the subject and encouraged him that we just stay friends. He approached me again this week about going out and again I gently turned him down. By Wednesday though, he found a new girl. Brad, one of the sweetest boys I know, came up to me throughout the week and gave me a hug and called me his girlfriend but that never went  much further than that. It was crazy. If I was talking to one of these boys, there was always another one watching and resulted in him getting jealous. Normally I can handle these kinds of "relationships" when they come different weeks from each other. But put them all in the same week.... that's crazy.
   My week ended on a very happy note when I found out my brother has the opportunity to come to camp as a camper next week. I'm so excited that he gets to come and a true answer to prayer. I can't wait to spend a week with him at camp!!!!!
    Though it was a crazy week, draining physically, mentally, and even emotionally, it was still a great week and I am so thankful the Lord gave me all the strength I needed to get through it. Without Him I can do nothing. I saw that this week and so thankful for His strength to get me through it. There are ways to look at this week and see a lot of negatives. But I'm so thankful He gives me the perspective to see the awesome Paradise I'm living in this summer!

Week 5

   I.LOVE.MY.JOB. 'nuff said. This week was crazy and slightly unusual, but with every passing day, God reinforces in my hear that I am in the right place and I love that I get to spend my time with the most amazing people on this planet!!
   I love it when God gives me the opportunity to really see who these campers are. This week we had a camper that I've never had the opportunity to work with, but from watching her a little on Monday I automatically drew conclusions about her in my mind. She's a one on one, non-verbal, and at first i thought she'd be one of the tougher campers. I was sleeping in her cabin this week and heard her get up during the night and had heard her a couple times before, but her counselor had gotten up with her, so I left them to whatever they were doing but the third time I heard her up, I got up just to check and make sure all was well. Come to find out, this camper had wet the bed and lost her way back to bed after going to the bathroom. So I helped the counselor fix the camper's bed and get this camper back in bed. All the while trying to tell this camper to stay in the bathroom while we moved around getting the sheets and all that we needed and somehow she just didn't seem to understand the words "Stay here". (lol) this only seemed to reinforce the conclusions I had made during the day. Well, throughout the next few days God pointed out to me, that I do not know as much as I think I do. Ruth Ann continued to surprise me every time I was around her. She'd suddenly say a single word that had to do with whatever was going on around her. Showing me that she knew more of what was going on that I thought she did. She ended up being one of the sweetest campers I've ever worked around and gives the best hugs. Thursday night, I heard her up again walking around the cabin. She had gotten up to use the bathroom again and lost which room was hers. I got up to help her and didn't think she heard me behind her. I didn't want to scare her for fear of waking up other campers. All of a sudden she whirled around and looked at me and said "BED!?!?!" I about fell over she scared me so badly. Now I think its funny but at the moment it scared me to death. I helped her get back in bed and as I made my way back to my bed, I realized how much even I tend to slap conclusions about campers in my mind and leave it at that. Which makes campers like Ruth Ann all the more special. When they prove to me just how little I know. And I love it.
   Cabin Clean Up was at its best this week!! Two of our cabins that had done ok throughout the summer really got into it this week. They went above and beyond and the competition was neck and neck. One girls cabin against one guys cabin.  The girls did a Christmas in July theme and the boys did an Extreme theme. The girls taped the shape of a Christmas tree on one wall, candy canes, stockings, snowflakes, everything--- the guys TPed their cabin all week. When Eddie went to check the cabin, the furniture was overturned, TP hanging from EVERY where. But not only did both cabins go above and beyond being creative, their cabins were spotless. Literally. The best score you can get in a day is 100. Eddie and I check cabins for three days. For the first time in history, we had two cabins have a score of 300 at the end of the week. Not just one cabin, but two. Eddie and I were impressed. From the girls Eddie and I received gifts from "Santa" and the boys kept us in wonder in how they kept their cabin extreme. On top of all this, both cabins were amazing with their campers this week. Doing their best to include everyone and loving all of their campers. It was a great week.
    By the time Thursday rolled around we had mayhem going on! I'm not normally in the office that much during activity times, but Thursday I was constantly in there. We had a camper going home due to her father dying, at the same time having to send another camper to the ER with Eddie due to really bad blood sugar levels. At the same time we found lice in a camper's hair and had to send her home as well. Which then caused us to do a camp wide head check to verify no one else had it. It was a crazy day but ended it with a great Talent Show. I love having my campers up on stage doing whatever they want and seeing a mass of over 100 people cheering for nothing but them. Its a cool feeling and an awesome sight. If you've never attended a Camp Spearhead talent show, let me encourage you to come!!! You won't regret it. We have 3 more this summer. Thursday nights starting at 7:30. Then you will get a taste of my Paradise!!

Halfway Point- Week 4

   Can I just say "Wow"? What a week!!! This week has been full of so many different commotions and emotions. I've never had a week that was so intense emotionally. 

   Monday started out as a normal Monday, but it wasn't too long into camper arrival that everything seemed to start falling apart. All of a sudden it seemed everyone of my female campers decided to show up all at the same time! On top of that, I had people unhappy with the cabin they received, unhappy that they weren't with their best friend- it was crazy! Normally I'm not the type to just up and change the cabin assignments at the last minute, but suddenly i was faced with probably needing to in a couple cases. Then two of us, me and one of my administrators, started making decisions and filling each other in later... which didn't seem to work at first- only added to the confusion. Then on top of that, I had two campers show up that weren't even supposed to come that week!! So while trying to put out fires with cabin assignment drama, I had to work with another one of my administrators to turn down the people who had shown up because we didn't have any room at all for the campers to stay. I've never been so turned around, inside out, and confused during a camper arrival!!! Thankfully though, it all eventually got worked out and we moved on and had an excellent day! 

   That afternoon though, I received some information that I knew would one day come but still took my breath away. Last summer I had a camper in my cabin that at first I wasn't too sure about. She intimidated me-as strange as that sounds, but after the first day of having her, something between us clicked and I ended up ADORING her. She was an older camper, had lung cancer from years of smoking and you had to yell three times before she ever heard you. She had three seizures that week. Which ended up confining her to a room in the cabin. When we went in to see her it was almost like visiting the hospital where your dying grandmother was lying. That Friday putting her in her van to go home was one of the hardest things we ever had to do. I still remember to this day walking away with tears running down my cheeks knowing that I probably just saw her for the last time as a camper. Well, Monday several women from her group home came and one of them pulled aside a coworker of mine and informed her that Sweet Miss Bertha passed away. I can't begin to describe to you the pain and the emotion that washed over me. She died just two weeks ago which is interesting because I just looked for her obituary just four weeks ago.I've never lost a camper before. My heart still aches to know I won't see Bertha again until the Lord returns. I miss her greatly and her memory will live with me for the rest of my life. I adored that woman. 

   On Tuesday, I noticed that a camper, whom I love, was giving her counselor some trouble. This is not unusual- she tends to be stubborn and insist on her own way and will not hesitate to tell you she is not happy and she wants to call her parents and tell on you or that she is going to write you up. She loves to do crafts and telling her that she can't do crafts is just out of the question to her. Well, I noticed this was going on so I walked over to help the counselor out since the camper, Sallye, and I have worked through differences before and she seems to love me and sometimes I can even get her to listen to me. Tuesday was not one of those days. I walked over and started talking to her and her anger only started to elevate. I began to get tired of the "game" we were playing so I finally got firm and told her to come with me. She noticed at that moment that her cup from canteen (snack time at camp) was on the table in front of her- still full of ice and just a little bit of Coke in the bottom. When she stood I thought I had won and told her to go throw her trash away and to follow me. No sooner did I turn my body sideways toward her, I felt a sudden cold and wet feeling on the side of my face. I had coke and ice running down my face and shirt. Thanks Sallye! It was almost like a scene out of a movie. Later that day I walked into her cabin just to hang out and see how things were. I looked at her and said; "Hey Sallye, my face is really sticky." She replied with; "Whew! I wonder who did that!" I about died laughing. "I wonder Sallye." I said. "Probably a ghost!" I no longer could hold my composure. Only Sallye would say something like that. It was so funny. 

   Wednesday afternoon I had the opportunity to go back to the old camp and see it. I haven't been there since my last day the summer of '08. I was so sad to walk through the old camp. Everything was left just as they had left it in '09, except for everything is now overgrown, someone came in and stole all the copper from every building and all the insulation has fallen through the ceilings. My heart ached to see a place full of so many wonderful memories so neglected. Walking through and remembering things I haven't thought of since that summer. So so sad.

   Thursday rolled around and we were all tired and ready for the weekend, but something happened that afternoon that boosted my spirits. I was able to witness a counselor and a camper connect-truly connect. Its something pretty special when you connect with a camper. There is an unconditional love and understanding between the two that surpasses what words can express. The camper eventually included me in the conversation that was playing out between the two of them. He was very repetitive- continually telling Andy and me that he loved us and that he wanted us to always love him and write him notes. Reminding us that we didn't like it when he had tears running down his face. (he had cried earlier in the week) One of the sweetest campers ever. And just precious being able to see that connection between Andy and Houston. 

   I can't believe tomorrow starts the last half of the summer. Just four more weeks! Where has this summer gone?? I'm looking so forward to this week!! Can't wait to see the new adventures that await just beyond today. How much better can it get? I'm in Paradise!!!